hey, this is a legitimate cry for help! fuckers! call me! insist of me my best! for i dawdle and sit far too long now! what are we doing? honestly! you all say follow your bliss, bullshit! ignorant of the pain we would follow our bliss! the cycle of life is two-fold, fools! my arms are numb on the computer right now. i smoked two joints and didn’t eat. fuck you for thinking that makes any difference at all. the mind is static. the interface is what shifts. only the outsider is confused. which leaves me with a sence of indifference towards whether or not anything is gained from the reading of this entry. where does it enter? how cliche! into your minds? i dunno. i can’t tell anymore. what does it matter? i’m still the same person with or without a beard. no matter what i do during the day at any point in my life, when the lights go out and i’m scared again, it’s the four year old everytime. so why does it matter? i care little for my appearance now. even less as my apathy grows. apathy? no, i really don’t think that’s right. it’s like the way you just ignore things that don’t matter in the day, and you let all the beautiful things fill in the cracks where your thoughts should have been, but you murdered them for the cause! because i murdered my thoughts a long time ago. i didn’t think i liked how i thought that thinking was going to get me anywhere. i don’t know. but i’m not going to think about it anymore. there’s thinking that’s needed, and then none, really. i dunno. but i’m done thinking.
so what then? what are we doing? sitting around thinking about what we should be doing? not rory! oh no! he’s actually somewhere else. whatever that is, but it’s something i’m not. and ryan donaldson, he’s made a book! i dunno what that’s like, but i’m sure i haven’t done it. and ryan glenn! he’s constantly trying to get going! what?! i dunno, but i’m not! mike! he’s making music with other people and growing! whoa! i didn’t think of that! damn! you guys are kicking my ass, and you’re not even doing that much, when it comes down to it.
this is a legitimate cry for help, fuckers. i formally request you kick some sence into me.